Want 5 More Ways to Melt Him? Download Your Free Guide Instantly at → Don't Miss Out! Subscribe to my YouTube channel now. I post new dating advice for women every Sunday. Did you know a little bit of creativity goes a looong way in flirting? When a guy sees you do. Matthew's self belief combined with his passion and zeal for life as well as his coaching products is highly contagious and is most likely, the key to his success and his growing popularity. The Get the Guy philosophy divides dating into three stages: Find the Guy, Get the Guy and Keep the Guy.
- in Relationship Advice
Video Summary
In this episode, Matthew Hussey (author of Get The Guy) illustrates two real world examples of mistakes women make when men are not investing. If you avoid these two costly slip-ups, you will be seen as, and feel, more confident and attractive!
- This video above by Matthew Hussey discusses what to do when a guy flakes out on your date at the last minute. His advice is spot on! The only thing I would have added to his input is to tell the woman that she shouldn't have texted the guy after he bailed on their date. She texted him a few days later asking him how he was.
- The timing is brow-raising. iHeartRadio.
Mistake #1 – Taking it Personally When a Man Pulls Away
Have you ever wondered why guys pull away? Some women think a man stops investing because he has found someone else. Many women believe the now infamous he's just not that into you. However, maybe he's just not that into you right now. How much your crush is attracted to you today is about how he feels today. Who knows, he may change his mind weeks or months from now.
The message: don't take it personally when people are flakey.
Change Your Perspective
It is important to take a more understanding perspective in the early stages. Heed negative personality traits, but lack of trying in the early stages is not a personality trait. You have to remember, you met this person one time at a bar. Java se development kit 8u171 download. They don't know you at all, so any judgment they may pass is not a reflection of your true self.
Warning: this advice is not about the man you have been on 10 dates with! If he isn't investing in you by this point, it is probably time to say goodbye. Nor is this license to chase a man who has denied your advances. Your extra point of leverage: not trying harder is having character!
Mistake #2 – Showing Your Anger
When your guy's texts stop giving you the warm and fuzzies, it may be tempting to respond with anger. You might imagine in your mind the pain your texts will inflict upon him. In reality, angry and passive aggressive responses will just confirm he made the right choice by backing off! Pressing send may feel good at the moment, but you are simply showing the man he has power over you and your emotions.
The Message: Anger makes us less attractive to the people around us.
Energy vs. Investment
A winning combination at this stage of the game is high energy and low investment. People often confuse investment and energy. High energy does not mean giving the other person more, it means exuding positive, confident energy. Low or bad energy can cost us someone great. Keeping your investment low in the beginning is equally as important: putting all of your eggs in one basket is unwise, and makes you seem insecure. People with options, people who are doing interesting things, are generally happy and do not get angry when someone does not get back to them.
About Matthew Hussey
Through his online programs, viral internet broadcasts, sell-out seminars, NYT Bestselling book, and his roster of private clients, he has been able to pass on his insights and strategies to countless people. 50,000 women have attended his live events and he has reached over 10 million online. Hussey is the new international guru of the dating and relationship-coaching scene.
To know more about Matthew, visit www.howtogettheguy.com.
Learn Why Men Pull Away
There is a deep-seated 'Gap' in communication that very few women (or men) understand. It's the #1 reason why men pull away. To be truly irresistible to a man, you MUST understand this gap, and the way feelings of love get confused and entangled in a man's mind..
He drops you off at your house.
Matthew Hussey How To Keep Him Miss Me
You say goodnight, get in the door, throw your keys on the counter, and smile.
Wow, a guy you're actually excited about. The conversation was easy, he made you laugh, you even shared a passionate kiss.
But soon comes the anxiety about how to keep him interested…Should you text him right away? Should you say you want to see him again? How available should you be?
One of the most scary periods in dating is the moment you decide you actually like someone. Because that's when your brain gets fearful of losing them and you start feeling that urge to keep his attention at all costs.
In this article, we'll go through some simple next steps that will show you how to keep him interested after the first date, and make sure you're always in a mentally strong place so that you don't get needy and push him away.
1. Let him know you had fun
To play it cool, or to not play it cool?
Well, that depends. Presumably, since you're reading this article, you like this guy, which probably means that he took you on a good date and did something to impress you.
So let him know!
You don't have to overdo it. Just text him to say: 'Hey, just got into bed. I had a great time. Thanks for a lovely night! x'
Just acknowledging that you enjoyed yourself is important for a man. It lets him know he should keep pursuing and that you'll be receptive to his future advances.
2. Keep things warm, but don't overdo it
It's important to strike a balance between showing you're into him and showing you're not too needy.
If he texts you after a couple of days, don't leave it too long to respond or he'll assume you're not bothered.
Engage in few texts back and forth, throw in a little flirting, but don't get sidetracked into endless conversation for hours or it will get stale and you'll lose any mystery. You want to leave him a reason to get in touch again, or schedule another date to talk in person. So don't waste all your good conversation on instant messenger!
Also, while you shouldn't be afraid to text him first, don't do it every time or it will put you in the position of always being the one chasing. Let him be the one to make first contact sometimes – it will let you know if he's actually into you or not.
3. Build anticipation
When you're texting, talk about other fun things you'd like to do together (not in a sexual way – and if you do go down that route, keep it lightly suggestive, nothing too explicit!) – by talking about activities and interests you're both passionate about you'll find it easy to schedule your next date.
And remember – don't let your conversations just become boring, 'What u up to?' chats about your day. Keep things fun and flirty and joke around when you talk. The most important thing is not to overthink your every move.
On that note…
4. Don't get locked in a needy mindset
It's easy to find yourself pacing up and down, checking your phone every five minutes, hoping he'll keep texting back and worrying whenever he doesn't.
You get that needy feeling in the pit of your stomach, and you may even start obsessing as you hope he's still into you.
This is a totally destructive mindset that will slowly drain your confidence and make you act weird around him, because he'll sense you're trying too hard.
So in this stage, you must find other ways to keep your OWN life interesting.
Invest in your friends. Find activities you love. Make time for your work, family, art, exercise, things that make you excited.
The worst thing you can do is invest all your happiness in this new guy who you barely know, thinking that you'll suddenly be depressed and lost if he doesn't like you. Jailbreak iphone 4s ios 9.3.5.
At the end of the day, I know this sounds cheesy, but if he doesn't see how amazing you are, and you have to play constant mental chess moves just to keep him interested, he's NOT your guy anyway.
5. Let him in gradually
Matthew Hussey Youtube
One of the crucial ways to keep him interested is not to 'jump the gun' too quickly.
Just because things went well the first time, don't assume you're now officially exclusive or dating. Keep your options open, at least to begin with. Don't start cancelling other plans just so you can fit him in.
If you can only see him one evening this week, then so be it. There's always time for things to grow if it goes well, so don't feel the need to skip ahead in the relationship. Or maybe he wants you to spend the whole weekend with him, but you already made plans for drinks with friends that night. Ok then he'll have to wait – go see your girlfriends and pencil him in for next week.
It's good for a guy to see in the early stages that you have other commitments (as long as you do actually have room for him somewhere within those – if you're always busy and rigid in your schedule a guy will eventually lose interest, thinking it's too much effort).
6. Show you have more than one gear
If you want to keep him interested, you need to show many sides to your personality.
Mix up the kinds of dates you have. Go for cocktails one night, then do something cultural like visiting a gallery on the next date. Or have a day just chilling and doing some work together, then go and do something active next time.
There is a deep-seated 'Gap' in communication that very few women (or men) understand. It's the #1 reason why men pull away. To be truly irresistible to a man, you MUST understand this gap, and the way feelings of love get confused and entangled in a man's mind..
He drops you off at your house.
Matthew Hussey How To Keep Him Miss Me
You say goodnight, get in the door, throw your keys on the counter, and smile.
Wow, a guy you're actually excited about. The conversation was easy, he made you laugh, you even shared a passionate kiss.
But soon comes the anxiety about how to keep him interested…Should you text him right away? Should you say you want to see him again? How available should you be?
One of the most scary periods in dating is the moment you decide you actually like someone. Because that's when your brain gets fearful of losing them and you start feeling that urge to keep his attention at all costs.
In this article, we'll go through some simple next steps that will show you how to keep him interested after the first date, and make sure you're always in a mentally strong place so that you don't get needy and push him away.
1. Let him know you had fun
To play it cool, or to not play it cool?
Well, that depends. Presumably, since you're reading this article, you like this guy, which probably means that he took you on a good date and did something to impress you.
So let him know!
You don't have to overdo it. Just text him to say: 'Hey, just got into bed. I had a great time. Thanks for a lovely night! x'
Just acknowledging that you enjoyed yourself is important for a man. It lets him know he should keep pursuing and that you'll be receptive to his future advances.
2. Keep things warm, but don't overdo it
It's important to strike a balance between showing you're into him and showing you're not too needy.
If he texts you after a couple of days, don't leave it too long to respond or he'll assume you're not bothered.
Engage in few texts back and forth, throw in a little flirting, but don't get sidetracked into endless conversation for hours or it will get stale and you'll lose any mystery. You want to leave him a reason to get in touch again, or schedule another date to talk in person. So don't waste all your good conversation on instant messenger!
Also, while you shouldn't be afraid to text him first, don't do it every time or it will put you in the position of always being the one chasing. Let him be the one to make first contact sometimes – it will let you know if he's actually into you or not.
3. Build anticipation
When you're texting, talk about other fun things you'd like to do together (not in a sexual way – and if you do go down that route, keep it lightly suggestive, nothing too explicit!) – by talking about activities and interests you're both passionate about you'll find it easy to schedule your next date.
And remember – don't let your conversations just become boring, 'What u up to?' chats about your day. Keep things fun and flirty and joke around when you talk. The most important thing is not to overthink your every move.
On that note…
4. Don't get locked in a needy mindset
It's easy to find yourself pacing up and down, checking your phone every five minutes, hoping he'll keep texting back and worrying whenever he doesn't.
You get that needy feeling in the pit of your stomach, and you may even start obsessing as you hope he's still into you.
This is a totally destructive mindset that will slowly drain your confidence and make you act weird around him, because he'll sense you're trying too hard.
So in this stage, you must find other ways to keep your OWN life interesting.
Invest in your friends. Find activities you love. Make time for your work, family, art, exercise, things that make you excited.
The worst thing you can do is invest all your happiness in this new guy who you barely know, thinking that you'll suddenly be depressed and lost if he doesn't like you. Jailbreak iphone 4s ios 9.3.5.
At the end of the day, I know this sounds cheesy, but if he doesn't see how amazing you are, and you have to play constant mental chess moves just to keep him interested, he's NOT your guy anyway.
5. Let him in gradually
Matthew Hussey Youtube
One of the crucial ways to keep him interested is not to 'jump the gun' too quickly.
Just because things went well the first time, don't assume you're now officially exclusive or dating. Keep your options open, at least to begin with. Don't start cancelling other plans just so you can fit him in.
If you can only see him one evening this week, then so be it. There's always time for things to grow if it goes well, so don't feel the need to skip ahead in the relationship. Or maybe he wants you to spend the whole weekend with him, but you already made plans for drinks with friends that night. Ok then he'll have to wait – go see your girlfriends and pencil him in for next week.
It's good for a guy to see in the early stages that you have other commitments (as long as you do actually have room for him somewhere within those – if you're always busy and rigid in your schedule a guy will eventually lose interest, thinking it's too much effort).
6. Show you have more than one gear
If you want to keep him interested, you need to show many sides to your personality.
Mix up the kinds of dates you have. Go for cocktails one night, then do something cultural like visiting a gallery on the next date. Or have a day just chilling and doing some work together, then go and do something active next time.
The more you vary it up, the more a man sees that you're a woman who he can do lots of different things with. When men think about what they want in a girlfriend, they picture a woman who can fit into many situations: she can be fun and energetic, but also chilled and relaxed; glamorous and sexy, but also casual; intelligent and thoughtful, but sometimes goofy and playful.
Keep him guessing, and you'll be the woman who stands out, because he won't be able to place you in a box.
* * *
So there you have it: the first steps to keep him interested straight after the first date.
Use these tools to get yourself in the right mindset for being the most confident, exciting, fun version of you and you'll be in the best position to make a guy want you for much more than just one night!
copy & paste these '9 texts no man can resist'